Who are ICP? What do we stand for? Who are we working for?

These are all good questions. As are the following...


What is the Invisible College Press exactly?

Some people say that ICP is the Alpha and the Omega, that ICP is all things to all people. Others believe that ICP is an organization by the people, of the people, and for ICP. They've been called "a bunch of anarcho-communists, like Ghandi". ICP is actively working to stop ICP. ICP is only slightly larger than Ein Sof.


Who are you guys?

We are people, for the most part, like yourself. Except that we are enlightened, at least to the extent that we're ones answering the questions around here. Some of us are nuts-and-bolts experts in a number of fields, and some of us are just nuts. We look beyond the big picture, to the frame. No one plays to our demographic, rises to our heights, or stoops so low. We are ICP, hear us roar.


Are you a vanity press or a 'subsidy press'?

Absolutely not! We never take money from our authors, and we do not sell to pocket markets. All of our titles must meet exacting editorial and literary standards before we publish them. Just ask all those hundreds thousands of hacks who've been rejected by us already!


Why should I care about any of this?

You shouldn't. Go back to sleep, all is well. It's just that everything you know is wrong! You probably have enough on your mind anyway, with night school and all... If we're wrong, it won't matter. If we're right, it's too late anyway.

Remember, our novels are for entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for any paranoid delusions you may experience as as result of misuse of our products.


If you're so smart, tell us who killed Kennedy?

It is obvious from a careful review of the film that JFK was shot by none other than Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy, with a small caliber pistol hidden in her pillbox hat. She did it to cover up an illicit affair between her and the Secretary of State at that time, Richard M. Nixon. This information was covered up by the Warren Committee in order to maintain the illusion that shadowy forces run the US government.


How many readers of ICP novels does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they've all been Illuminated.


Where is ICP located?

That is a very good question. The Headquarters of ICP is located at the exact center of the universe. Prove us wrong. Branch offices of ICP can be found almost everywhere. Remember, ICP's novels can be found everywhere you aren't looking.


How long has ICP been in business?

Some would say we've been in 'business' since time immemorial, but you are probably talking specifically about the publishing business. ICP was founded at the dawn of the third millenium, aka the Year 2000.


Where can I get one of your books?

Go to the 'catalog' section of this web site for details.


I just wrote a great novel, are you interested?

ICP is always interested in new authors. Go to the 'submission information' section of this web site for details.


I just read one of your novels and it sucked. What do you have to say about that?

If you aren't paranoid, they've probably already gotten to you. Perhaps you are reading it wrong. Try starting at the end and reading backward, sometimes that helps.


Is it true that your books have been ordered by CIA employees?

Yes.


Is it true that one of your writers is actually an alien?

That is a malicious rumor planted by our enemies. We categorically deny that any of our writers are aliens. There is no evidence that conclusively proves that the pod was extra-terrestrial in origin.


Are your books available in electronic, downloadable form?

Not yet. The market for that format is quite small, and the mechanisms to implement it are quite complicated. We are looking into this format though and will let you know as soon as we make the leap into the digital age. Until that time, we suggest that you order a paper copy, cut it apart, and scan in the individual pages.


Are your books available in psychic format, or can we remote view them?

Yes. Please send us a check for $7.95 USD. Then sit back and relax, we'll beam you something shortly. Please remember to remove your alumnium-foil hat.